Those Shadow That Lurking Around The Turn

I real didn’t understand this topic of Facing Shadow
So I had to do a little bit of searching for this day topic. So after putting in several key words and when I put in facing your shadow . I some what understood

I real don’t understand why I self sabotage my self or but unnecessary guilt on my self.
There was the ad on TV ages ago the woman did everything.
Well I want to be a person who had a career, have a decorated home everything go so, have a big social life, and etc.
But this life never came.
In so many more ways I’m blessed

I’m or I should say we are for 09 plans

Put in a veggie garden.
Add deck to our back yard.
Once Bart is out of high school I’m planning to go into ceramics.
Put in a new window in the kitchen.
But I’m a person who weighs everything out and keep asking my self “Is this____” or “What if_____”
I know no one can predict the future and I have no desire to.

I find when things are orderly. Sometime I feel I accomplished something. Then other time I wonder why because I’ll be doing this again.
See after work I’m tired and sore.
All though sense I put in arch support in my shoe it made a big difference.
I sometime have a hard time seeing progress in some of the area in my life.

Then I want to be creative. I’ll tell my self something like this. “You need to get your ducks in roll and you need to be practical”.
I’ll find some reason why I can’t find the time to be creative.

As yesterday I was saying I’m bipolar when it comes to routine and or let the wind control my life.
Wishing time…I want balance between the time to create and organize

There time I also feel like I’ll be at a type of job I can’t actual stand which is now. But actual and I’m thankful that I have a great company to work for and my client Donna treats me well.

Today was my tops meeting and I gain one and quarter pounds. So every pound a person gain they pay a dime.
Well I’m still down from my first weigh in.
Well if we gain anything after Thanksgiving. We give a dollar for each pound we add to our body.
I’m hoping and looking forward not having the scales go up.