Look like tomorrow I will be having a real full day. So I decided to share and or post about my 15 minute progress report and social anxiety.
I decided to mainly stick to the book case in extra room. There a pile of books I know who they belong to and I will contact them this week. To see if they want them back or give them to a thrift store. I won't be reading them. Actual they wasn't all that much that had to be toss. But they were a few smaller boxes I need to go though. But the lamp on the book shelf has issues. Got it clean off, so hopefully Murphy can look at it. He pretty good at electrical items.
I have terrible stage fright. Social things that I'm not familiar with. I have fear of being judge. And if someone tells me they don't judge I wouldn't believe them. Or maybe it more like being judge unfairly or to harsh.
It seems on my mom side there a lot of finding fault. Mostly in photos. There usually a few a photo who could be little off. Eyes close, arm cross and while other might have hands down by there side. Just finding some little thing to point out. Or even in person they will point out some inconsequential. Even my mother did this. Her famous word “BUT” and mostly it end with negative statement. So in some many things I train my brain and self. Not to complete and have back up excuse of. “I ran out of time” so that how I learn to protect myself. I didn't have to stand at attention. So I tend to move from project to projects. I have plenty of un-finish projects. Not long ago I was going to show some fabrics and I has shaking so bad. I was thinking all the short coming people might see I have. There was other thing I didn't care about the video. But main reason I delete because I look like basket case.
The other thing on my mom side is. Bragging up someone to point that you feel like a failure. I remember listening to my mom family telling how well some of my cousin doing. But they were never there. I had couple of cousin who was quite talent in music and tour Europe singing in some choir. Than I had set of cousin, not first cousin. Who did fairly well in ice skating competition. It made me feel beneath. Well looking at pattern. I'm sure I was spoke highly of my horse show days.
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I actual would like to continue with my blog and add maybe 3 to 6 times a week a vlog. More you do something we should be more comfortable at. We all put our pants on, one leg at a time.
Today at Liz we watch Q.V.C I'm not into high fashion. But honestly thought there items was outrageously price, and plus most clothing is ugly. Confession time...I always want to buy something from either Q.V.C and or H.S.N. Just for the experience of it.
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I got picked up a battery for one my pedometer. It one of those things it pain to get battery in and out of . Plus scales haven't been working. Looks like I put in old battery back in it. I doubt I will be posting, long day tomorrow
Today Art is from country of COMOROS.
Coffee is on and stay safe
I look at the expensive shops when I am in the city, but outside only, I don't go in. I know I can't afford any of the items and don't like to make myself disappointed. Your bookshelf looks a lot neater.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a nice Memorial Day and got to relax some. It looks like you have your hands full with a good sort out. Maybe you'll find some long-forgotten treasure in there!!!
ReplyDeletethink vlogging takes a lot of time up - I'm sure you don't look like a basket case! I never like my photos either - I have very few pictures from my childhood and would like more, only two of my mother. TV shopping can be tempting especially as you are paying with plastic :) Now your bookcase has been emptied of books, you can fill it with things you actually would like reading - from the library! hope the lamp can be mended.
ReplyDeleteEverybody is different, so don't judge yourself in comparison to others. You are a capable person, brought up your children well, go to work and look after other people etc - thats a lot! Respect! Valerie
ReplyDelete...we are decluttering our house, each week we take things to the Goodwill.
ReplyDeleteI think there is dysfunction in many families.
ReplyDeleteI have social anxiety so I can understand.
ReplyDeleteI've ordered from QVC. This computer I'm typing on right now, as a matter of fact. I don't call in. You can order from them online. Just like any other online ordering.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when you've been criticized. I get social anxiety, too. Sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. It's hard. I know I have to work up to things sometimes. Well, lots of times. (There's a reason I went for a year or more before getting my hair cut.)
I am shy too. It can be tough to simply talk with people. Social anxiety is very difficult to overcome.
ReplyDeleteI hate having my photo taken and always look weird. As for public speaking I do not like it either. When I was working I dreaded having to stand up front but if I sat I was fine. And I didn't mind running meetings.
ReplyDeleteI do not smile well, cannot show any teeth in my grin. Nor do I take criticism well. Anger is my first response like it is personal. But every family is dysfunctional in one way or another, I think. Hang in there. you are a good person
ReplyDelete