Had review my YESTERDAY POST and since I want to continue on "I talk to my therapist about this issue. Main reason I do this is to protect my self from my mothers judgement." As one of her words bothered me was "But" I can't remember her giving me praise without using "But" Here is sample of conversation might had happen.
Me. " I got the living room dusted and the dishes done. "
Mom: (walking toward what I did) "You did a good job, but you didn't put away the pledge, or the dust rag.
Actual it happen even with my father, not as ridge as my mom. He is part of this.
I even drag out my movement toward well being (weight lost) I was member of "T.O.P.S) for ages. Had enough time to work and use though the program. To loose about 70 pounds. Even if I just a half of pound a week. Sound easy enough! In one year I would lost 26 pounds. Not quite 3 year I could of been at healthy weight.
Even in my creative items. Like I'm crochet dish towels. Confession time...I will only do 2 or 3 rolls at time. Something even half dozen stiches. But in general I should get dish cloth done in a day. Or 24 hours. Even with general everyday happening in world. Now if space aliens came. Now that a different store. See I even do this with my Granddaughter quilt block. In stead of making strides on embroidering. I will lot of time, not even do 3 inches. Some time it not even 10 stitches.
I don't have a complete answer to solve me "but" problem. Or how it has a claim to me. How I keep it safe by. For now I will stick it in my safety box. Knowing I need tools to fix "but" or keep it tune.
It been a while since I feature and artist, DEE WHITCOMB I still plan to get a tattoo. Off to work in the morning. Regis has a doctor appointment. Hopeful I can get over to Liz during the afternoon. Hubby went into town to get items. Ground beef is on special $2.98 a pound. You can see it in store a lease around here. Store inventory is low. We haven't ran out of anything. There been a few times I could get something. But it something was in a few days. Hey we didn't run out of toilet paper Don't have fancy bullet journal. That fine with me.
Editor note. My "But" doesn't have to be my personal pronoun. It jobs it be my conjunction.
Coffee is on and stay safe
Yes, that needs to stay in your safety box, forever. WOW, taht looks like a lot of snow!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about the photos, I see, a tattoo artist. Sorry about your mom's 'buts'. She maybe never realized how it hurt you, we always want advise our kids.
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how such a small word can slay our spirits!
ReplyDeleteMy mother was the same way. I would cook a meal & it was always this is good but...I just realized she had the issue. She died in 2012. I don't miss the criticism.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember my mum being critical when I was very little, then she left home when I was seven. When I went to live with her at 16-17, she was different, but not critical with me. Probably I was too old to be influenced by her by then.
ReplyDeleteIf only people would realise how their words wound.
ReplyDeleteKeeping things in a safety box sounds like a good plan.
We are finding shortages in the supermarkets too. Not too bad yet but I’m thinking as time goes on it will get worse. What we really have noticed is how much things are going up in price. Not just small amounts but big jumps. I worry about what this means, can’t be anything good.
That goes look like a lot of snow. I got some finally here today to our surprise...but it's melted already. Here long enough to make everything pretty for a few hours.
ReplyDeleteBut is just a word surplus to requirement in my opinion, I'm glad you have demoted it to no importance :) I like tattoes, my brother has the sun on his chest and moon on his back :)
ReplyDeleteWords can cause very deep wounds which take a long time to heal. Stay safe, Valerie
ReplyDelete...words hurt and they can't be taken back.
ReplyDeleteYour mom probably didn't realize that her one small word "but" had kept you captive for so long. I suppose you are trying to live up to her expectation and acceptance of you. Remember, no one is perfect and don't allow the "but" to enslave you. There are many things that you have done well and there shouldn't be a "but". Appreciate yourself for who you are.
ReplyDeleteMy father was that way too, nothing ever good enough that I did. Once I made a cat house for his outside cat. A few months later I came to visit and he timed burning it just as I arrived, claimed it was trash, not decent enough for his cat. I understand issues like that, is what I"m saying.
ReplyDeleteWords can sit in your heart forever. I hope your therapist helps. Those are some cool tattoos.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. It's hard when we are continually criticized. You are good enough just as you are.
ReplyDeleteThanks for you post. After reading it, I am more conscious of the words to use on my family as you have made me realise that one word can be carried for so long. Love yourself, we do our best and if others cannot see the good in us, we just have to change our attitude towards them. The tatoos are so colourful and intricate.
ReplyDeleteYour snowy yard looks like our snowy yard. Words do hurt and some people are so good at damning with faint praise. My late wife's most used expression was, "We can't afford it". As in, "isn't that a beautiful whatever." "We can't afford it". Tanya is very good with money but has never once used that expression and on rare occasion has actually splurged on some luxury for herself like a little jar of red caviar for $40. (The guests got the cheap stuff at $10).She makes me so happy
ReplyDelete