Right now I feel disappointed in my life. I want to blame stupid people. But then there my responsibility of choices that I made and make. Not going to therapeutic on you all. I could of done____________or should of done________. There certain things we find comfort in. But the main question is it good for you all way around. I know if I was more productive I would feel better about myself. Confession time...Quite a few times I have trouble finding the balance in it all. When I plan for week activities and goals I sometime I put to much on my plate and then I become frustrated. The if I don't plan and carry them out I have guilt.
I did get the three ghost hunting filmed but for some reason I couldn't get blogger to work. PART ONE PART TWO and PART THREE
Our county fair is going on and one local news sort got some PICTURE and as you notice non of people have mask. Statement time....It real rages me about there no mask on any of these people. I real miss our fair but I don't feel safe there. I have to wonder what numbers will be like in next two weeks.
Since Murphy and I was going to town to get a few thing. Liz need a cabinet glued and we had to long clamp bars to hold it together. She gave me a roll of aluminum siding. But before Liz I drop off package over at Regis. Last place was safeway and spend just under $40.
I don't know if I told you about my dad being tied to trees. What I understand he use to be tied a roll of trees back in Michigan. And he would untie himself and move down to another tree, then retie himself to tree.
Still working on my version of six pentacles and I am doing it as a warehouse. I want to put and END CAP at end of rolls. Only one thing I cam up with is alligator. I know it sound weird. Maybe it something I should think about, SIX PARAGRAPH For me to move on creative activity I need to organize. "If" and there that uncertain word "If"...I spend 20 to 30 minute working on organizing my art supplies and other area I would be head of game. On one my flights home from Medford Oregon I saw a guy who had his art supplies nicely compacted. I know I mention his orderly and his reply was quite simple...Just can't come up what he said. But it was wise. If I want to do a creative project it would be easier to purchase the supplies and the odds would be I have them some place around my home. It been while since I mention putting a small creative studio in our basement. The space wouldn't hold over ten people comfortably. Had no desire do it full time. Have it open 12 hours a week. If you every google about my area of Bonners Ferry, Boundary County Idaho. In simple term I am the odd duck and there a small percentage of us here. The other side of pancake "The election of 2020 I won't be casting my ballot for Donald Trump" and he will carry my home state of Idaho. We only have four electoral votes. Now I know people won't be knocking my door down to use my studio. I am wondering to myself why does this bother me. Since I can only handle a small amount. Then have I real done anything toward it. The straight up answer is "No" I could of and should of worked on getting myself in shape to handle the ceramics molds, plus there the organizing. And last thing I need is a small bit of capital and yes I did save out of my paycheck. But I sat nothing aside for this. Statement time...It hard to be the odd duck and know there other here like me. But to fit in you have to be or it seems to be you strong Trump supporter and to me that means to hate and have a heart full of prejustice. Hate isn't good for anyone and it get you know wear.
Had fried rice with chicken in it. since the weather getting hot hubby and I are going mountain drive.
Coffee is on
I know how that feels to plan and plan and then have too much on your plate with no hope of getting it all done. So now I don't plan for everyday. I make plans and then work through them until all are done, maybe two, three or four days, before I make any more plans.
ReplyDeleteYes, generally I try not to plan too much. It is frustrating when you don't achieve what you meant to.
ReplyDeleteI find if I don't make plans, I'm never disappointed (but, I don't work so that changes things). As for no masks, that's insane.
ReplyDeleteHari OM
ReplyDeletePlanning for myself is entirely on hold as I have to care for father and all plans involve his needs. Once, there were lots of plans... and I too am astounded at the number of folk flouting the mask and social distancing rules... YAM xx
Try to stay as calm as you can.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the be calm thing, just be you and you'll find you're good at it.
ReplyDeleteI can overbook myself too. I use a method of 3 must do and then keep a running list of other things if I have time. Usually I get more than 3 done and I feel like I had a big win!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many expectations of what we should become and what we should be doing and earning. Many of those come from within ourselves. I don't know what makes them arise within us, maybe a relentless drive to be the best we can be. Or maybe all the comparisons on TV and social media or criticism long ago from parents. My mother was, in her essence, easy going, a clown, social. My father was the opposite, a joy killer, hyper critical, female put downer, and worse. I can feel those two fight within me, their traits. I can almost feel my mother having fun when I have fun because my father put her down daily, made her cry daily and like I said, killed all joy. It's hard, life, but its beautiful. Don't be too hard on yourself. You don't have to be anybody other than you.
ReplyDeleteI used to tier my plans. Some plans would definitely get done. Some plans should get done. And some plans were on the list because I wanted to do them, but I knew that unless things went quickly and easily, I'd never get to them. Sometimes organizing a to do list like that helps.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how many people are out and about without a mask.
ReplyDeleteInstead of making “pipe dream” plans of what I think I can accomplish *if* everything goes perfectly, I have adjusted a bit where I now try to plan for a 50% amount of what I *think* I might be able to do..... and then I find I hit that goal more often and feel happier about the day and often do a lot more than just the 50% amount. It is kind of a mind game, but I get less grumpy at myself that way. Maybe something similar would work for you?
ReplyDeleteI can understand feeling like the odd duck out. No one in my community hardly wears masks either and it makes me very frustrated and nervous to go anywhere.
Why did your Dad tie himself to trees? It sounds like it mist be an interesting story.... was he protesting to protect the environment or something else?
I just wanted to also say... thank you for being you!!!!! You are a fun, caring, gentle person.... and I am glad I know you through your writings!!!! Last week, when I was having especially strong cravings to start smoking my pipes and pipe tobaccos, I came here and read some of your older posts and they helped me to put my pipes and pipe tobaccos out of my mind for a while. I do admit I still may restart.... but if I do, I want it to be for a happy reason and not because I am frustrated like I was Friday.
PipeTobacco