weight lost and walking

Friday, November 18, 2016

Looking In One Mirror

In our area there people who raise the confederate flags in our area. I would guess to most it would mean WHITE IDENTITY and the feeling of SUPREMACY.
I do have these thoughts when I see confederate flag, not in good way. I also feel embarrassed and scared by what the confederate flag represent.

For many thing and reason I will have the feeling of embarrassment. Even today I went of to store to get Regis some eggnog and nothing else. He gave me his food stamp card to purchase it for him, nothing else was bought.
Well to me it embarrassing. I wonder what the person behind me thinking when I'm purchasing with food stamps.
I'm to afraid to make eye contact with any one else then the clerk and machine that swipes the cards.
I can recall being embarrassed by school mate chums.
My dad Pete (Harold) was 56 years old and soon to be 57 years old when I was born. My dad turn grey quite young. Every since I can mental see a photo of my dad he had white hair, deep baby blue piercing eyes, and olive skin tone.
Well all though going to school. School mates would say one or two things t me..."Your dad is old and look at that white hair you must be adopted"....He isn't your dad he is old so he really your grand pa"
I know school chums can be mean.
As I got older I went and bought my dad some hair coloring and want him to color his hair. He didn't I was so embarrassed that he wouldn't.
But the feeling of EMBARRASSMENT usual made me feel unworthy, angry, shame, guilt and empathy. It would depend on situation.

Went to work and finish up the week. I just realize Thanksgiving is next Thursday. Still need to get hold of Bart and Molly about dinner.
This is our second time our COMMUNITY Thanksgiving dinner.  I went last year and it was a smash hit.

Murphy went to the senior center to have there Thanksgiving dinner. He ended up sitting with the pro Trump table, even the seniors at center is divide and polarized.
Murphy came home and told me that a person at table made this statement..."Hitler had it right" I was sure glad I wasn't there. How embarrassing to make a statement like that. I can tell you one thing I didn't feel unworthy. More like shame or angry.

Eating was much better today. Didn't sleep well last night.
Breakfast...fried parsnips, and eggs.
Lunch...I was at work, had a few cookies, and had to get gas in car and got tray of 4 poppers.
Dinner...spaghetti and salad.

Been working on crafts. Now I'm working on Betty trivet doing locker hooking. I doubt you can see I did some geometric drawing of shapes on it.
I'm going to try to work in this two colors into what I draw on the rug canvas.

Been still working on green fabric strips for the rag rug. Now there 3 balls of fabric done. Depends how far I get on conectting fabric strips together. Confession time...I might have to tie the ends instead of sewing. Which it should go a lot quicker and I doubt anyone would every notice.

Coffee is on




8 comments:

Andrew said...

I've been reading a list of people who have been attacked or something nasty said to them since Trumpet was elected. It is not nice, and that terrible woman on FB describing Michelle Obama and then the female mayor of the town praising her.

River said...

I was embarrassed a few times as a child, mostly because we didn't have any money and when other kids would buy things at the tuck shop I just pretended I didn't care, but I really did. It was no fun seeing them enjoying hot pasties and cream buns while I had bread and jam for school lunch every day.
But I learned from that and now I make sure there is always at least enough money for food.
I like that bright striped fabric very much, it will look great woven into the trivet

Gosia k said...

My dear friend you are a talented woman. Love from Poland

S. J. Qualls said...

Kids can be so mean, but that's the nature of the beast. My son was embarrassed by me, the kids at school asked him why his grandmother came to school instead of his mom. For a while there, he thought we were lying to him and he thought he was adopted.

E. Rosewater said...

maybe i live a sheltered life but the confederate flag only makes me think of the dukes of hazard.

soup is on.

HOOTIN ANNI said...

I, for one, just live and let live.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!!

baili said...

living through positive spirit is obvious .
your art is great

Liz A. said...

Tying knots is probably okay. Sometimes you just need to do what you need to do to get it done.

Ah yes, the racists. They'd never survive where I live. So many ethnicities, so many colors. It's nice when we all get along.

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