Spring Sprucing Up

I start on zoloft for my panic attacks. So far so good. The only complaint I have is it makes me a little on the sleep side. Although I’m doing better on it.

Went into town and deposited our tax return. I still need to write a check for Sawyer and Murphy medical bills.
We also need a lawn more and I was in quality feed looking at husqvarna riding lawn more. Now once I started to look at riding lawn mower on the web page I’m not sure which one was at quality feed. We now have an old coast to coast riding lawnmower and in 6th gear it pretty gutless. Not sure if it’s worth fixing or not.
The real reason I went in to quality feed is to get some flower seeds. I got some lavender zinnia to be put out in my oval shape flower bed. This flower bed is done in purplish and yellowish shades of flowers.
I’m wanting to put in anther flower bed with our birth month flowers. I thought of on the edge of the barn/shed. I would need to get a trills to grow the sweet peas on. Then on the ground I would put in aster, violets and mums.
The other place I thought of putting a new flower bed is around the snag and let the sweet peas grow up the snag. Plus I would plant my violet, aster and mums below.

Plus I went to my boys teacher and parent conference. Sawyer got a 3.4 g.p.a. His worst subject was advance algebra. He playing games with his teacher. honest time...I think he likes giving her a bad time He got enough math credits to graduate. But he can pull a c in this class and still sleep. opinion time...I think Sawyer math teacher is a little weird But I think she knows her subjects. Sawyer isn’t doing his potential in her class.
Bart grades is anther story. Bart got a 1.8 g.p.a. In algebra he was missing quite a few assignments and his quiz and test score wasn’t all that great. This teacher stay after school to 5 so she can help the students. opinion time....I think Bart math teacher gives long quiz 15 and even up to 30 question on a quiz and 100 or more question on a test Then he didn’t do all that good in spanish or earth science. Those 2 teacher wasn’t their. But his science grade and math did come up.

Well soon is going to be Easter and I’m guessing Murphy sister Faith will have some kind of Easter dinner. I only wish Murphy and his brother Earl would get along. feeling time...I find it stressful being at any family function when Murphy and Earl is in the same building
In the evening Murphy been trying to call his brother Earl up and give him an altercation about being a snob. honest time...I would say Earl is to much of chicken shit to answer the phone. I would guess they got caller id and our phone number is coming across

Little Red Church

A small red church made out of barn board. On the church hung a small sign saying Saint Agnes As I walk into the church I notice there is couch and a chair All on my left side.
In the very front there is a small plain altar On the altar on the right side is a candle unlite.
Behind the altar is no relgious symbols.

As I reading about Saint Agnes her symbols are:
woman palm leaf Please note their wasn’t nothing about palm leaf. sword and a lamb

Now for the colors in my dream.
color
White couch, beige chair, ivory candle, and red church.

dream dictionary

Something Missing

I finely started to take lexapro for the first time yesterday afternoon. It made me very sleepy and I just watch an old movie “sinking of the bismark”. I went to bed around 8 that night and fell right a sleep for 2 hours then wide a wake for anther 2 hours and pretty well I was like this all night long. I had a real hard time waking up and I still feel like I’m a zombie or smoked a bunch of Maui wowie. I haven’t seen Maui wowie since I was in my early 20's.
I was reading side effect of lexapro. After reading the side effect maybe I’m not real giving it a fair assessment. I’ve had dry mouth, slight fatique, and sleepiness. It a small percentage of people have these results and I’ll see my heath care provider Wednesday.

My friend Quenelle and her husband Earl came over. Quenelle and I tried to add her site to google adword Well we would get 3/4 the way done and I’d loose what I did. Opinion time...I would like to help Quenelle finish up her site so I can move unto my home project, ceramics and life I don’t mind helping Quenelle get her site up.

I feel so disconnected emotional, physical, and spiritually. honest time...At this time I feel a big avoid in my life Not sure what I need to feel my avoid in my at this time.
When things get stressful I have these anxiety attacks that I feel like someone/how I’m in a coffin and the lid got nailed shut and out of blue I’ll start to worry about things. My boys even tells me every so often I need to take a chill pill.
It seems like if I get upset over something I’ll be big time depress and don’t give rats ass. Positive Note...I never thought of warming others or my self I real believe their hope

Your heart is filled with

You scored as Wonder. Your Heart is Filled With Wonder. You Often Worry about probiblems and wonder what would have happend if You had made different Disicions or Something Hadn't Happend. What If? Wonder 65% Peace 60% Love & Romance 55% Imagionation 50% Hate 25% What is your heart filled with? created with QuizFarm.com

Wild Thing Quiz

I've been busy trying to catch up on all sorts of stuff today. Just been doing fun quiz for my blogger.
What Animal are you?
I'm a bear, zebra and lion

Writer Quiz

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

I got this Quiz from Niobium

Thought time...Does this mean I'm crazy or I just see the world differently?

My Attitude...Which I Don't Like

Recently I don’t like my attitude. I have a hard time dealing with my panic attack, depression or being pissed off

I was taking Paxil for my mental state. Well that stuff gave me such a headache. Now I’m going to try lexapro . They wrote me a prescription for 14 days and it cost me almost $45 bucks.

Sometime with out warning I’ll have this feeling like I’ve been put into a coffin in my mind and a basically an inclosed feeling.
I know one time I was in yokes and out of blue I felt like someone put me in a coffin and nailed the lid shut.
Yokes is a large supermarket with very large elise. A least I know I was having a panic attack and didn’t make a fool of my self

honest time...I don’t want to do home care anymore I think my client Callie is easy to get along and easy to please. So I don’t have a problem with Callie.
The company I work for pays their non C.N.A $7.90 an hour and they paid this 5 years ago. I wanted to buy a new dish hutch and put more into the ceramic business. Well with everything going up including gas at $2.49 a gallon for regular.
We had to pay off two medical bills which ran about a little over $1200. feeling time...sure glad that behind us
If I stayed with this company and next year they’ll be paying me the same wages. feeling time...I have this real pissy mood and I don’t like it.
I keep threaten was gas hits $3.00 a gallon for regular gas here in Bonners Ferry nicely demand a .75¢ an hour raise. honest time...I don’t give it much chance of getting a raise. Once gas hit $3.00 bucks a gallon I can’t afford to drive to work and in my own mind it will be easier to quite
Anyhow I said I’ll put in anther year if gas stays under $3.00 bucks a gallon

Sometime after a panic attack I have a feeling of depression. Then also my pissy attitude about all most everything which I don’t like this way of thinking is what I think is causing depression.
feeling time...I’m pissed about my job that feels like a dead end job. I’m pissed off because I can’t get any of my home or yard project and I’m pissed because my ceramic isn’t going at the rate I want it to.

Ok I’m trying to think of feel positive about something. So I guess I’ll grab at straws. The stir fry I made came out good. Plus today Quenelle and I got her site the way she wanted it. The only thing to do is google ad word the thing click to pay

spring pictures

I had trouble posting my pictures of spring sunrise, the 10:25 AM picture of sun, and spring sunset.

Change Needs to Happen

I’m strongly doing some change about my job. I’m planning to quite doing home care. This is what I plan to do. Next March of 2007 give my resinate and they’ll need to have an replacement by June or before.

Feeling time...I’m getting burn out on my job, their no change for raises I’ll be making $7.90 an hour. they been paying their employees this rate for a very long time. Honesty time...The main reason I went to work is to start my self in ceramic business again. well Murphy is digging trees and that’s long hours and hard work and I don’t excepted him to help around the place. Feeling time...I’m disappointed at the rate my ceramic shop is being unfolded. Time I go to work and take care of the family I don’t have enough energy to do the ceramics

I’ve been planning to do some other changes. Gas is going up again and if it hits 3 bucks a gallon I’m going to nicely demanded a .75¢ an hour raise. It won’t pay me to drive in anymore. If my client Callie moves and share a place with her sister Eris I’ll quite. Callie sister Eris is a nice person but I’ll be cleaning up after her too. Eris house cleaning skill is something else. Feeling time...I don’t want to be taking advantage of
I’ve been thinking of changing to hire payed agency for home care. My friend Alice works for “ I pick” and she makes $11.05 an hour, plus she gets about .35¢ a mile which I get about .15¢ a mile. She gets a bonus twice a year and I get nothing like that.
I need to talk to my accounted before I switch agencies. The one my friend Alice works for. You pay a $10 a year membership and they consider their employees “self employed” and they take nothing out for taxes. So she paid all of her own taxes. I wonder if it real worth it.
Here the thing all home agency have everyone to sigh a contract that you won’t take a client or change agency. But nothing wasn’t said about the client changing agency and requesting the care giver to go along. Callie things I deserve more an hour then what I’m getting.

Yesterday her nephew Ed ask me if I wanted to smoke pot with his Aunt Callie and him. I ‘ve never did any kind of illegal active on a job.
Honest time....I have a major problem with drinking and smoking with minors Anyhow Ed been in out of Juvenile jails. At this time he was a 100 fine and he says “ I ain’t fuckin paying it” I remind him this a small town and it real easy to get picked up. Your better off paying your fine. Hopeful he takes my advice

Tomorrow I have to take my client to Sandpoint to talk to her counselor. I’ll bring up my concerns with Callie

Vernal Worship

This morning my friend Quenelle and I went to coeur d’ alene to the North Idaho Unitarian Universalist and they were celebrating Vernal equinox
What I’ve seen of the Unitarian I like their believes. No one their plays the fear card or tells you what to believe or your heading straight to hell.
I enjoyed the sermon on tree related to spring How in spring time roots comes a live in tree a waking the rest of the tree and new things begin to happen New growth is starting to happen and so I look forward when spring comes.

I’m panning not to go to the Unitarian for a while. Murphy started to dig trees and he working 6 days a week well over 8 hours. Sunday is only day I have anytime with him. Anyhow Coeur D’ Alene is about 75 miles south of us.
Gas prices been going up, $2.59 a gallon

If Murphy done with the dig I might go to their Summer solstice

As we drove down Quenelle read from her wiccan books about trees and their symbols. On the internet I found I am a cedar tree . My husband Murphy is a Ash Tree, My oldest Son Sawyer Is an Olive Tree, and my youngest son Bart is a walnut tree.

Dubya Wants Idaho Kempthorne For Interior Secretary

President Dubya nominated our governor Dirk Kempthorne for in interior secretary Statement...Dirk will be mainly for big business and the bottom line
My husband Murphy and I was talking about the worst case possible if Kempthorne gets approve. Dubya and any of his cronies if they got their way they privatize the National Forrest, no public lands or should I use the word no multi uses in National Forrest.
Info....The county I live in is 25% private land and the reminding land is Idaho State Land or National Forrest Can you see selling off the National Forrest. Consider a national debt and Dubya screwed us and I don’t think he would have any problems doing it again.
Idaho did send Cecil Andrus for interior secretary under President Carter.
Opinion time...One time Dirk Kempthorne was our United State Senator with Larry Craig. Between those two I rather have Kempthorne as an government official

I found two article on Dirk Kempthorne one is on the issues I wish it was little more up dated. Then I also found this article click here

Irish Roots

I proud of my Irish roots. I’ve been told that my Irish Family came from Antrim county . It been told that one of my grandfathers of many generation said something rude of the king of England. They gave him a choice to be send to the United States and at that time their was no United States. Or have his ear chopped off.
Two of my cousin have done the McCalmant family tree and the don’t agree with each other. A cousin of mine put the geneology of the McCalmant on the web.
Robert McCalmant is my great great grandfathers, his son Elisha is my great grandfather, Elisha son Edgar is my grandfather and his daughter Myra was my mother.
So for St Patty day we’re having Saint Patty dinner corn beef dinner.

Full Time Suzy Homemaker

I stayed home today and I actual enjoyed it. Not much on the panic attacks so far

I clean our living room and I pretty much have the living room as I wanted it. I like to rearrange the furniture because my living room is more rectangle then square. Things I need to buy for our living room.....anther small chair, aquarium, two small lamps, cairo cabinet and some small decorative pieces. Most of these items I can get at a second hand place.

Next I clean the two bathrooms. Confession time...The shower in master bathroom was slimmie and gross. I didn’t get it all the slim off but it’s a improvement. Not sure what to use.

Plus I did 2 loads of laundry. The ground here is saturate with water and I got to pace my use of water or my septic will back up. opinion time...what we need is a good southern wind, and sunshine to take the moisture out.

My kitchen and dinning room needs to be worked on next. I’m trying to keep a fire going. We have some green pine which burns like crap. So I’ve mix larch it.

My goal is to quite my job in about year. Confession time...I would like to just stay home and be a full time domestic engineer. I love my client Callie but my job is getting to me. Opinion time...I can make the same wages with ceramics, what I’m doing now.
Out of our tax return we were going to buy a dish hutch for the dinning room. Instead we are paying off some hospital bills. Well then they’ll be out of our way. If I save $50 a month then I can get my dish hutch in a year. Thankful time...Only working part time it gives me time to do things around the house and work on ceramic. Confession time....I wish I had more time to spend adding the special little touch to the home and doing more on the ceramics

For dinner tonight we’re going to have Spanish rice. I have no ideal why that sounds good to me put it does. My secret ingredient is kidney beans and what every else. I have no set way of making Spanish rice

Tired, No Other Word For It

Gee I’m real tired this evening. It was pretty nice most all day until mid afternoon and the wind picked up and the weather is changing in North Idaho.
My friend Quenella loan me this book spell crafts haven’t got far into it.

src="http://www.personaldna.com/h?k=gYSLYpdiEQHbZ&t=Animated+Inventor">

Last time I did this quiz I think I was some kind of leader. Now their saying I'm an inventor. Gee I hope this copy and paste.

Sunday drive

When Murphy and I was first dating and married we use to go for quite a few drives. So he suggested that we go for a short drive at first I suggested the old highway down among deep creek and he said “out threw the game reserve and out the west side road

As we were driving down the pleasant valley hill. Murphy said let do the fall creek loop. I haven’t been up threw fall creek for more then 20 years ago.

Our first stop was the Naples Store to get gas at $2.39 a gallon. Murphy got out and pump it and went in and paid for it. I have no ideal how much he put in let just say it didn’t move the gas gauge.

Then we start to go up highland flat hill. At the bottom of hill is were fall creek and deep creek runs together. Confession time...I was to lazy to get out and take a picture of the two creeks runny together

Then up the hill to the four corners of highland flats. Last time I drove it, very bumping and dirty. Some new homes “well what should I expect I haven’t been on the fall creek road for more then 20 years

Down in bottom of fall creek we stop and Murphy stop and had a cigarette. Statement time...I won’t let people smoke in my car Then up the hill to the top. It seems like that Murphy and I just talk about his brother Earl Honest time...I get tired of talking about Earl and his family. Ok we did bad mouth our president and his bullshit policies. Confession time...I think the paxil is helping me when the subject Earl, Tadita, and or Ulanda is brought up. Sure I get up set but it not as bad

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Then we stop and McArthur lake bird reserve. Anyhow that’s were deep creek starts.

Then we went into Bonners Ferry to get a few items from B.T.C . Ran to 2nd hand store and Murphy went and got some reading glasses for under $3.00. I drove down to Safeway to see is I could find a pair of rechargeable batteries for my digital camera. Both place sells them in pack of four.

Then we finley got home

D.N.A Quiz

Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER.

You're in touch with what is going on around you and adept at remaining down-to-earth and logical.

Although you're detail-oriented, this doesn't mean that you lose the big picture.

You tend to find beauty in form and efficiency, as opposed to finding it in broad-based, abstract concepts.

Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings.

Because of this eagerness to pursue new experiences, you've learned a lot; your attention to detail means that you gain a great deal from your adventures.

The intellectual curiosity that drives you leads you to seek out causes of and reasons behind things.

Your confidence gives you the potential to take your general awareness and channel it into leadership.

You're not set on one way of doing things, and you often have the skills and persistence to find innovative ways of facing challenges.

You are well-attuned to your talents, and can deal with most problems that you face.

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

How You Relate to Others
You are Advocating

Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.

Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.

The world outside your window energizes you, and you can't help but be involved in it.

One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.

One thing that makes you a people person is your insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.

You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.

Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don't look to impose your ways on others.

Your sensitivity towards others' plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.

As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.
This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than you did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than you did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users.

Confidence
LowHigh 60
Openness
LowHigh 72
Extroversion
LowHigh 42
Empathy
LowHigh 48
Trust in others
LowHigh 36
Agency
LowHigh 80
Masculinity
LowHigh 72
Femininity
LowHigh 34
Spontaneity
LowHigh 8
Attention to style
LowHigh 52
Authoritarianism
LowHigh 12
Earthy/Imaginative
ImaginativeEarthy 86
Aesthetic/Functional
FunctionalAesthetic 32

I got this quiz from niobium

Seek Great Meaning of Knowledge III

What did you have for breakfast?
I had hashbrowns, one egg over meduim Confession time...I cooked my eggs a little longer then what I liked 2 links and I don't think I drank anything with breakfast. Before Breakfast I had a small cup of coffee.

I finely made in to see the doctor. I had three complaints. Confession time...I have fear that I might be hypercontrac. So I hardly go to the doctor.

The first thing we talked about is sometime I have tremor in one of my hands. Nothing on a set pattern or no sign before it happens or afterwards.
Most of the time I never notice that I tremors unless someone else points it out.
Well they think it related to stress or panic attacks.

My back hurts like hell if I stand on any hard surfs for any amount of time. Doctor suggested that I go to chiropractic and get my back reline.

Very last gripe was that I’m either having panic attacks or I’m fairly depressed. I thought I got rid of the panic attacks last December of 2005 when I did my festivus and I felt better good after wards.
Til recently. I started to have trouble with panic attacks. When Murphy warn that some other people that his brother Earl could possible be peeping tom. Honest time...I have no ideal if Earl is still peeping around this was quite a few years ago. Earl thinks that Murphy e-mail whole bunch of people about Earl possible being a peeping tom. Statement....If Murphy says he only e mail it to one person I would believe it. The person he email it to could of forward it on. anyhow Earl thinks that I’ve gave everyone my blogger address the only one I gave is to Earl. Confession time....I was hoping his wife Tadita would read the blogg simple because Earl won’t admitt he got stone and spilled the beans. I think she has the right to know. I have no desire to break them up
Then a short time ago Murphy decided it was time to bury the hackett with his brother. honest time...I didn’t know what to expected. I surely didn’t expected to get invited over to dinner or I didn’t excepted them to yell and tell each other their a piece of shit. So the doctor gave me some sample of paxil cr to see if this will help. I guess the hardest thing is trying to figure out what time to take during the day. confession time...I’m always leery of taking new medication

Honesty time...I’m going to try not to blogg about Murphy brother family as I’ve been recently. Or let say try to stay away from pass events. The stress between Murphy and his brother is factor, Honest time...I don't complete blame it on Murphy and Earl. I think my job might have a factor in it to and other factors why I’m taking paxil

Brave of the Brave

I’ve been having a lot on my mind these last few days. Plus I’ve been having some physical problems

I like to start out about Friday the 3rd of March. My husband Murphy came home and said he wanted to bury the hackett with his brother Earl.
I personal thought it was a noble thing to do. honesty time...Things didn’t go as well as they could of. but if they went perfect I would of honesty time...I would of been total shocked and amaze.
Knowing my brother in law I would have to guess their would of been a good chance he record the whole conversation between himself and his brother Murphy and is going over every little detail and went to library to search the law books.
thought time...A least Murphy got the balls to admit when he makes an error. Earl has no balls what so he has to always make up excuses or lie, he just can’t face the truth

So Saturday was quite and I did mainly laundry

Sunday Bart and I went Coeur d'Alene Bart looked around the area and I visited the Unitarian Universalists The Sunday sermon was on “simple things in life “ Opinion time... to me their sermon wasn’t no fire ‘n’ brim stone. Quite the opposite. I know I can’t get their every Sunday but I did enjoy my self.

Murphy sister came to visited for I think for a little over a week. His sister Patty who lives in Illinois. I think it been about 10 years since he saw his sister Patty

Tomorrow I’m going to see the doctor on few medical/mental issues.
Some time I have this shacks or tremors in my hands.
If I stand on concert like surface my top part of my mid back starts to hurt it actual feel like my vertebra is pressing on each other. All most every muscle in my body aches mainly in shoulder and arms.
I’ll get these weird feeling, I’ll be in a store or any place. I feel like someone sticking me in a closet. My heart start to race, muscles start to tighten up, and quezy stomach. I guess it like closphobia feeling.

Seven Deadly Sins.

I just took a sin quiz from two diffferent.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Very Low
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com


cellspacin

You scored as Pride. Pride 50% Gluttony 50% Greed 31% Lust 25% Sloth 25% Envy 13% Wrath 6% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

I don't see my self being greedy to that extend. No I don't give 10% to charity. Gee we're not millionaire.

The other one of pride. When I go out in public I try to be presentable which to me mean to be clean in all aspects.

Confession time...I like being praised. Then on the other hand I have a hard time handling it

Seek Great Meaning of Knowledge II

What is the biggest trait at any one person may have? Why does this trait bother you?

To me the biggest trait one my have is being stuck up and thinking your shit don’t stink. I don’t know why dislike the trait of people who are smug.
I know what I like to do to people who thinks their shit don’t stink. Try every way to make sure everyone see they have short commings. Let them do or get them to do something to one self so everyone get to see their shit stinks.

A excelent word to use is uppity

I Rather Be Know Place Other Than Home.

I personal would like to get mine and Murphy house back looking like a home. The last three days I’ve been taking care of other stuff. Which I know it needed to be done.

Today I went up on Katka Mountain to pick up Quenelle to work on her site for her weddings. Still more to go.

Before I went and picked up Quenelle I walked around our back yard looking for sign of springs. Well here in North Idaho their a few small signs of spring. Some of our trees got new growth and buds. The star of bethlehem is at a stand still.

For dinner I made My version of New England Clam Chowder.
1 16 oz can of chicken broth
1 small carton of half and half I think it’s about 8 ounce.
Depending how rich you are or how well you like clams, cans of clams.
Pour this into a pan and make sure you get large enough to put everything in.
Including the clam juice.
Fry up some chopped bacon I use about 6 ounce this evening.
Then I chopped on some onions, celery, and potatoes.
Add all to pot finish by covering with milk. I would cover by 2 inches.
I like to cook on medium low heat. Cook until tender.

Confession time....I’m a dump cook and it freaks out Murphy. He pretty well follows a recipes to the T and I use a cook book for a general guide.

Well this evening I got my home picked up a little, folded some laundry, and pay the water bill of $36.50.
I’m tired and I’m going to try to read for about 15 minutes.

The kitty in picture is one of Quenelle Cat

February 2006, Weather Report

February 2006 was on the average colder then 2005.
On the 28th of February was the warmest day of 52.2
On the 18th of February was the coldest day of 2.9-
The average high for February was 36.8
The average low for February was 18.1

1st of the month I take a picture of Roman Nose which is west of my home. So far this is the first picture of a month that I actual could see Roman Nose.

I found this site about fun interesting facts about the month of march